Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
