he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
