Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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