Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
