So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
