Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Randomize
