After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
