i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
