the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
