im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
