I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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