Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
