No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
