i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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