question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
