did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
