i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
