Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
