It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
time to smoke my breakfast
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
