the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
no you cant smoke seaweed
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
