a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
