I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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