My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
