She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
