I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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