we have officially lost it.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
