Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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