Whoa Z and x make the same sound
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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