What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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