3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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