i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
