Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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