i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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