I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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