I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
