I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
