First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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