Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
