My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
