I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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