best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Let's paint friendship bongs
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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