You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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