I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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