god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
