I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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