ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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