lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
