oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
