I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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