i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
